I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
