Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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