yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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