ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
