I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
