Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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