I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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