so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
