Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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