We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
