i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Houston, we have a squirter
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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