It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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