I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
