Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
