im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
