please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize