hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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