I CAN MOONWALK!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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