so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
