I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
