I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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