Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
