You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
