i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
