I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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