I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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