I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My dick has a subreddit
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
