Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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