I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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