Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
