Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
