the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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