You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
