I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
