dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
