Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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