So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
