But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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