my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
