No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
