Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
