You made me cry and you don't even care
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
