He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
