Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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