you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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