Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
