Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
