Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
