One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
