I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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