Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
