i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
