ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
