please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
