it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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