I think i peed on brittanys purse
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
