she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
