is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize