last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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