all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Terrible idea I love it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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