whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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