dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
