Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
